Strengths Overload in a Life Challenge!

Fred overused his strengths and got STUCK in past habits.

Fred got stuck because he continued to use his known strengths when the new situation called for something different!

Normally, Fred would have been able to adapt a bit better, but because he experienced such primal threat, he responded in a primal way. In other words, his survival programming from his past took control of his Smart Brain and he behaved in an aggressive and ineffectual way.

And we’ve all been there!

Interestingly, working though the Strengths pointers on the online THORT Board immediately moved him from being lost in his subjective anger, and moved his focus to being dominantly SmartBrain driven. This shift let him talk about the problems without getting lost in them.

Also writing the sticky notes and evaluating his marks in relation to the strengths he was using at the moment in the situation, held him in a monitoring mindset, again, leaning towards a reasonable, smarter brain dominance. And best of all, he downloaded the workout for reference when he started drifting back to his old ways.

The next session, Fred designed a new more proactive strengths profile, one more suited to his current challenges. Fred still had a long road ahead of him, but he was now on the road to taking control of his problem and the way he will respond to it in the long term.

He checks back for a brief chat every few weeks, sometimes to ask more questions and other times to tell me how he’s doing. Were all very proud of him and his progress.

Fred’s was stuck in his past life!

Fred’s life changed dramatically the moment he was diagnosed with 3rd degree Bone Cancer. Friends and loved ones were horrified at first, but soon they expected him to adapt to the situation and just focus on getting better, if he could…   He couldn’t, because he was Resistant! Raging! STUCK! in the past life he had to suddenly give up.

Fred just couldn’t accept that he had to move on from his past life, and now focus on this unfamiliar, vulnerable, and awful person he was becoming.

Before Cancer, he had fought fiercely against adversity, and others called this strength ‘courageous and visionary’ – but now these same people lost patience with his bitterness and frequent outbursts. After just 3 weeks, the initial heart-felt loving support he first received had dwindled, and people moved on with their lives. On those days now when friends were physically present, he felt the most alone.

After behaving badly in front of his two loyal supporters, he acknowledged that he had to find a way to move from this dark place, if not with hope, then at least with some newfound grace and dignity.  He searched online and asked for a THORT Neurocoach to help him to find a way to come to terms with his life and move forward.

Fred began by updating his mental blueprint -so that he could leave his past life in the past – and move forward to designing the best possible path forward, based on his new circumstances.

The map above tracks a 2 hour coaching session. Afterwards, Fred felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders, and could now imagine the mindset he wished to adopt in this situation.  The map served as a record of his mental workout but also served to jolt him out of old unsuitable habit that were no longer appropriate.